C h e c k l i s t

Check to the end...

          ☑ Chemotherapy
          ☑ Surgery
          ☑ Radiation
          Maintenance Therapy
                     ☑  Herceptin
                     ☐  Anti-Hormonal Treatment

November 17, 2011

Run Bela Run

I am so desperate to run, to exercise. I was told that I can exercise as long as I dont move my arms and upper body. So I ran funny with my arms folded close to my chest. But I so want to get back in shape and fast!
Next summer I will have more options to wear cute stuff and I want to take full advantage of it. So I am going to work towards that :)
I am taking a break from expansions as I am getting to the point where I can tolerate very little fill and the muscle spasms are more intense. I will go back in 2 weeks and then most probably be done after a couple of expansions.
I have had this persistent cold for 4 weeks now and I am wondering where is the cure for the common cold as well? Me and my poor baby have been stuffed up forever!
I wanted to write a short n sweet post. Y'all have a Happy Thanksgiving! I have a lot to be thankful for this year. But most of all thanks to all my friends and family for all that they continue to do for me. 
XOXO
Bela

November 2, 2011

Oh Wow Oh Wow Oh Wow : Economics and Looking Forward

I have often wondered what the bottomline cost of my breast cancer diagnosis is? I could easily back calculate the cost to the third party payer, my insurance companies, but like in our work, it is hard to estimate the total cost, especially the indirect costs. And these days I am thinking of the burden of breast cancer on a household. For me personally it is loss of earnings, loss of opportunity from being out of work, as well as the loss of ability to go back  to work 100%. In addition to that, if I add all the copays, premiums, drug costs, and my husband's loss of productivity then I would say that breast cancer is one nasty greedy expensive bitch!!!
I still consider myself lucky to be able to afford a lot of this treatment and to have an "okay" insurance. It really makes me think of my less fortunate sisters who dont have means to cover these bills. We all have dipped into our savings but there are women who didnt have that little bit of padding to begin with. I have decided that going forward all my charity will be towards these women. Now that the big hoopla and show of Pinktober is over, we can focus on really making a difference in this world and helping some of these women. I urge you all to consider the The Pink Daisy Project as one of your charities this year.
We lost a genius to cancer last month as well as many young women (yes I said many and it is one loss too many) that I knew through my support group. I have been thinking a lot about Steve Jobs' life and what all he accomplished in his 56 years on earth and I wondered what I would have accomplished at the end of my life? If I had to die now, nothing. Only a true genius can say "Oh Wow" Oh Wow" "Oh Wow" as his last words. May be he saw something or experienced something that we will never know.
On my health update side, I am back at work as of November 1, part-time. I still have to go for weekly expansions and they are shaping well, pun intended. I still struggle getting back into the real world after being out for a while. It is like learning to walk all over again. But I know in my heart that it will all work out one day. My heart is full of hope. Hope there is.
I want to start dreaming again and have these crazy aspirations of a 20 year old. I want to do so much. I want my sibling to write an amazing eulogy for me just like Mona Simpson did for Steve Jobs. For that, I need to do so much more in my life. So much more.