Two steps forward and one step back...

We went to see my plastic surgeon today. It was going to be my first expansion. But since last week I have had a small area which grew from pea size to the size of a quarter that was pink and exposed on the latissmus flap (muscle implant) side. Yesterday the nurse told me to send her a pic and she said it didnt look that bad. Today I was told to give it 2 weeks to heal and then to go back. It is necrosis which means some of that tissue that was transplanted didnt make it, it died, due lack of primary blood supply. They couldnt find a primary blood vessel because radiation had damaged the area a lot and there was a lot of scar tissue there.

I am a little bummed as this has thrown me off my planned schedule. I was hoping to look like I hit puberty once again this week...OH WELL! This is how my life goes. Setback after setback. I wonder if I will ever move forward in life...

When it rains it pours...

This week has been rough. Sahil has been home sick with high fever, sore throat, cold--the works. Dinar has been sick too. My mom thankfully recovered from the bug by the weekend. Yes this has been going around for 2 weeks now.
I have cough and general mild symptoms similar to my boys. All the antibiotics I was taking didnt guard me completely from my 2 year old petri dish! The worst part of it is that my incisions bother me when I cough so I try avoiding coughing which makes it worse!!! Oh well that is my rant for this week.
The past three weeks have been very comforting for me emotionally. I saw my support system step up and care for me and my babushka. I was in the hospital for 3 nights and Sahil was fed, bathed, dropped off at school, picked up from school, snuggled with, and put down for his naps by his Vikram mama, Z mami while my mom and hubby could take care of me. That was very comforting for me on so many levels. I thought to myself that if this beast ever takes me away too soon from my babushka, he will be loved and cared for. As a mother there is no better feeling than to know that. I am lucky to have Dinar, mom, Vikram, and Zarina. And my niece and son too as they give me a purpose to live.
That being said, this week when Sahil is sick all he wants is his "mamma". That comforts me too! I am still very much needed and my absence will be missed. So I have to be there for him.
I am hoping the family gets over this nasty bug soon.

In Lance's words...

"What are my chances? It was a question I would repeat over and over. But it was irrelevant, wasnt it? It didnt matter, because the medical odds dont take into account the unfathomable. There is no proper way to estimate somebody's chances, and we shouldnt try, because we can never be entirely right, and it deprives people of hope. Hope that is the only antidote to fear"

Excerpt from "It's Not About the Bike. My Journey Back to Life" by Lance Armstrong.

Drains are out!

Bela had a really good follow up appointment with the doctor today. All the drains are out, which is a big relief... In a couple of weeks the doctors will see if they are ready to start the expansion.

Sometimes Sore Sometimes Snore Sometimes Bore

Mornings are rough. Days get better. My surgical oncologist called and said there is no evidence of cancer in the breast tissue that was taken out. So yay for that!
Did I tell you both my surgeons are rockstars? I am glad I have such a good medical team, again.
Back to sleep.
Bela